Living Realities – Mirrors of God's Love
Proper 22B
Genesis 2:18-24; Mark 10:2-16
10/4/2009
Jim Melnyk

Speaking of divorce – as a person who has been divorced and remarried – the folks who brought us Proposition 8 in California – the act designed to supposedly safeguard the institution of marriage from same-sex couples – have a new initiative going for 2010. The 2010 California Marriage Protection Act – you can find them on “RescueMarriage.org – is an act designed to outlaw divorce in California in order to safeguard marriage from the evils of divorce. And I'm sure none of the folks, in what seems to have become the topsy-turvy state of California, I'm sure NONE of the folks who will end up supporting this act have ever been divorced themselves! Yeah, right. They even have posts on their web site saying things like, “John + four and Kate + four = sin.” Good Lord, what would they have done with the movie, Yours, Mine and Ours?

As long as people have married one another there have probably been questions about the sanctity of marriage – at least there were questions by the time the oldest creation story of the Hebrew Scriptures was first written down – almost 3,000 years ago. And however long ago the first marriage took place – which, by the way, wasn't Adam and Eve – there's nothing in Genesis about Adam and Eve having a wedding – however long ago the first marriage took place I'm willing to bet the first divorce wasn't long in following. I'm willing to make the bet because our history of human nature bears out that probability. And even in our best days of “Ozzie and Harriet” America (that's back in the 1950's to mid-60's for you young whipper-snappers out there) divorce was more real than most wanted to believe. It doesn't take much of a scholar to realize that what we often call “traditional Christian marriage” or “tradition biblical family values” is often hard to find in the pages of our history, church history or Holy Scripture for that matter.

In today's Gospel lesson Jesus holds forth an ideal focusing on life-long partnership in marriage. “Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Yet what we don't understand is the incredible subversive nature of Jesus' statement! This comment is Jesus' response to a patriarchal world in which women had no standing what so ever. Here the Pharisees are challenging Jesus, knowing full well that the Law allows divorce to take place between a husband and wife – initiated by either party. But what they also know, as does Jesus, is that in this world of theirs, women rarely are allowed to exercise that right. It's a man's world in first century Israel. Men hold all the cards when it comes to such decisions about marriage. Jesus tears this power away from his male listeners.

It's true though, that we're still left with this admonition against divorce. And throughout the Scriptures we're challenged by the ideal of living in committed relationships, even if few of our Biblical role models ever do. Throughout the centuries the church and society have taken a rigidly literal understanding of this faith ideal and used it to control women and men and their lives together. This ideal is even taken to such an extreme that divorce is seen by many as a greater sin than remaining in an abusive relationship which causes emotional, psychological, spiritual, or even physical harm to one or both of the parties.

A simple reading of the gospels quickly reminds us that Jesus said many tough things throughout his ministry – and perhaps more than a few things we don't want to hear. Beginning with last week's passage about cutting off offending limbs or tearing out offending eyes, to his teaching about hating one's father and mother, to the overwhelming idea of taking up our own cross and forfeiting our own lives to follow him, Jesus often makes us flinch – or even cringe. Few scholars have ever taken teachings such as these literally – mostly because it's doubtful Jesus ever took them literally either. Rather, like many of his contemporary teachers, Jesus uses hyperbole and harsh language to bring us up short – to shock us into listening to the deeper truths he is trying to teach. In this case marriage, like all relationships, is to be taken seriously – people and relationships matter!

The same can be said for the way Jesus talks about children. Earlier in the Gospel of Mark Jesus placed a small child among the twelve who were arguing about which of them was the greatest and said, “You want to talk about greatness? I'll tell you about greatness! Whoever welcomes one such child as this one in my name welcomes me – and not just me, but the one who sent me” (9:36-37). We have to understand that children had practically no station in life in Jesus' day. Ancient Mediterranean cultures valued children least of all – and in fact medieval theologian Thomas Aquinas once wrote that “in a raging fire a husband was obliged to save his father first, then his mother, next his wife, and last of all his young child” (Megan McKenna, On Your Mark: Reading Mark in the Shadow of the Cross, Orbis Press, p. 136). For Jesus to equate them as agents of God's presence was breath-taking and perhaps a bit mind-boggling – maybe even mind-blowing.

Perhaps that's why in today's Gospel lesson the disciples – having just experienced what Jesus had to say about children – were caught scolding parents for bringing their children to Jesus. “This is the only time that Mark uses the word 'indignant' to describe Jesus' feelings, and his indignation is directed at his disciples” (Megan McKenna, p. 137). The disciples don't get it. Jesus uses the same type of jarring example with the children that he uses with his talk about divorce, with the Syrophoenician woman who begged for her daughter's healing, with the deaf boy's father who came to Jesus on behalf of his son, or the woman with the hemorrhage who touched Jesus in the crowd – trying to tell us that the hurt, the lost, the weak, the vulnerable, the invisible – all – all matter to God. And somehow – perhaps by recognizing the overwhelming love of God for each of us – we have to reconsider how we envision and live out relationships in this tiny world of ours – and learn to forgive one another when we fail.

Here's what it comes down to – here's what I believe is the key point Jesus is always trying make: What binds us to Torah teaching – what binds us to the Gospel of Jesus the Christ – what binds us to God – isn't how well we follow rules – isn't how rigid we make our laws and structure our societies – what binds us to one another and what binds us to God is how we love one another. What binds us to God and to one another is how we treat the least among us – how we treat our neighbor who, like each of us, is created in the image of God.

The time has come for these particular stories of our faith to stand as models of grace-filled relationships rather than as memorials to the patriarchal power and fear of the past. And quite possibly such a freeing of imagination and an opening to God's grace will allow us to see the many different ways humanity upholds one another and mirrors the love of God in our relationships. Maybe seeing our ancient stories in new ways and from different perspectives will allow the church and society to see the grace and beauty that exists in every caring and loving relationship which honors the image of God in each other – perhaps seeing such life-giving relationships with the wide-eyed innocence and love of a child.

Perhaps in seeking to recognize the covenant of marriage as the life-giving and person-honoring commitment it was always meant to be, we'll no longer feel threatened by other relationships which seek to uphold the same ideals and the same glory and grace. Perhaps we'll find, as the church and society grows in their understanding of marriage, folks will no longer feel threatened by realities like the blessing of a same-sex covenant, or same-sex marriage, or the relationship of an elderly couple who love and need one another, but who are unable to afford the ridiculous financial penalties they'd face were they to be married. Perhaps we'll find we're not threatened when someone we know realizes they can no longer make a marriage work – and for the sake of each other's lives, they choose to go their separate ways. Such ideas of God's grace in non-traditional relationships, and our need to seek and offer forgiveness when we fail were once again upheld by the majority of our bishops and deputies in our General Convention this past summer – and they remind us that there's often more to the Gospel than meets the eye.        

Such ideas as these challenge each of us to look seriously with our whole heart and mind, both at our own attitudes and at the ways in which we read the Biblical narrative, stories of Scripture, in our own time. It's as much a matter of the heart as it is a matter of the mind for us – even as it was for Jesus. These are stories of life and grace which challenge our need for power and control, and which invite us into deeper, and less literal relationships with one another and with God.

These stories invite us to take a minute to look around us – to see the many grace-filled relationships which touch our lives every day. These are stories that invite us to look deeply within ourselves – and so mirror the love of God – and so be living realities of the love of God.

©2009 Jim Melnyk