Living in Neutral Time
Proper 8B
Mark 5:21-43
6/28/2009
Jim Melnyk

First of all, I'd like to give thanks to all for the out-pouring of love sent cross-country to me last week, whether via email, messages passed through Lorraine, or even the wonder of Face Book! It's amazing how many folks throughout the wider church are connected to Face Book! I felt deeply connected to St. Mark's even though the entire country separated us physically.
        
As much as I wished to be here with everyone as our financial world turned at St. Mark's, I know my being at the CREDO conference placed me in the right place, at the right time, with just the right set of clergy colleagues – new friends from places as far apart as Maine to Miami and New York to L.A. with a myriad of stops in between.
        
The mission of CREDO (which means “to set one's heart”) is “To provide opportunities for people to examine significant areas of their lives and to discern prayerfully the future direction of their vocation as they respond to God's call in a lifelong process of practice and transformation.” I return home thankful that you, as my community of faith, and Lorraine as my spouse and partner in ministry, were willing to share me with such a wonderful group of priests and facilitators for the eight days of CREDO. I return home surer than ever of my vocation as a priest in the Episcopal Church, and my call to serve God and God's people as we proclaim together the Good News of God in Christ.
        
One of the most helpful phrases we spent time with during the conference was the phrase: “neutral time.” Neutral time is that in between time – that time between major, life-changing events – that time between moments or periods of precise clarity. Neutral time is that time of waiting – the time of unfolding – the time of mystery – the time of unknowing. As we talked about Neutral Time it resonated with my spirit – it touched my soul – it spoke to my heart – it gave me peace of mind.
        
Neutral Time: It's the time Moses and Israel spent in the wilderness, or Jonah's time in the belly of the fish. Neutral Time: It's Elizabeth, Mary, Zechariah, and Joseph waiting, it's Jesus in the tomb, or the quiet moment just before the storm of Pentecost. Neutral Time: It's the moment the disciples wrestle with whether or not to awaken the sleeping Jesus on the tempest-tossed boat. It's the moment when a woman – declared unclean by the religious authorities and the religious traditions of her day because of her endless years of bleeding – it's the moment when she wrestles with the thought of breaking ancient barriers and breaking ancient taboos by reaching out and touching Jesus. It's the moment of fear and uncertainty as Jairus watches his only hope turn aside to deal with what he must have thought of as that nuisance of an unclean woman!
        
It seems I now find myself in one of those neutral times – that we find ourselves in one of those neutral times – suspended in the mystery of what the coming months and the coming year will bring…no wonder the discussion resonated with me so at CREDO!
        
And I find myself strangely non-anxious – strangely sure that God is going to do something wonderful – though I don't – we don't – yet know what that might be. And those are strange words coming from the mouth of a priest who has spent most of his twenty years of ordained ministry in various communities waiting for those final pledges each year to know for sure what the coming year's future would hold – sometimes even waiting until April (throat-clearing sound, here!).

Does that mean that I'm not fearful or saddened by what that future may bring? No. It is a hard time to find myself in – as it certainly sounds like that for many of you as well. I know I am not the only one at St. Mark's who wonders what the next few months or the coming year might mean relationally or financially for their household. It's tough living in between! Yet my time at CREDO has affirmed what my spiritual director has been working on with me for years – to be at peace in the present time!
        
Part of the CREDO process involves setting goals for the coming months, and developing strategies and support structures to help meet those goals. We were challenged to come up with three goals for the coming year, and if we were up to it, with what CREDO and others call a “Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal” for the next five to ten year period. I'd like to share with you one of those goals this morning.
        
My first goal coming out of CREDO is to find a way to live faithfully in this neutral time – this in between time – as I ponder God's call in my life. But my goal goes beyond my own hopes and desires to live faithfully and non-anxiously into the next several months. My goal is to help us all, as a community of faith, to live faithfully and non-anxiously into the future for St. Mark's – whatever that may be – as we revision our ministry and decide where we want to go as a faith community and how we want to get there.
        
None of us knows at this moment what the next six months will look like, let alone 2010. We know what the current trend looks like – and the Vestry has acted faithfully, and with great struggle and care in trying to discern a pathway for us at St. Mark's. God may be calling us to a new level of commitment and welcome at St. Mark's. But God may also be calling us to a season of walking apart from one another. We just don't know yet.
        
Israel wasn't sure what was beyond the wilderness. Jonah didn't know what waited beyond the belly of that great fish. Mary, Elizabeth, Zechariah and Joseph were trusting dreams and visions – no one gave them a blueprint or a written contract. Did Jesus know for sure what awaited him beyond the cross and tomb? Was he sure? Did the woman who had been shunned by everyone else know for sure that Jesus wouldn't turn her away if she reached out her hand to touch him? What went through the heart of Jarius when his servants came to him saying, “Your daughter is dead. Why trouble the teacher any further?”
        
But Neutral Time is not a passive time – not time to sit back and wait for something to happen. While it is a time of waiting – it's an active waiting – it's a partnership with God where we participate in the unfolding of the mystery. The woman acted in reaching out to touch Jesus. Jairus acted in reaching out to seek Jesus.
        
Whether we can manage to continue with a clergy team at St. Mark's as some folks have expressed as a desire or not, we need to do the revisioning of our ministry Felicia spoke about so well last week. Whether trends change drastically and we could somehow remain a two clergy parish or our life together changes and St. Mark's returns to being a one clergy parish, our understanding of who we are as stewards of ministry and mission at St. Mark's cannot stay the same – we need to revision stewardship – revision our ministry – we need to “discern prayerfully the future direction of [our vocations as the people of God at St. Marks'] as [we] respond to God's call in a lifelong process of practice and transformation.” Who are we now? Who are we supposed to be? How will we get there from here?
        
I don't know right now. None of us do. But these things I do know: I am still called by God to be a priest. We are all called to ministry in the church through the waters of baptism and the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. I know that I dearly love this community of faith, and that I am proud to be a part of a community who follows Jesus' gospel of Good News for all – for all – people. I am proud to be a part of a community that takes its baptismal promises seriously enough to work for justice and peace, that seeks to love our neighbor without exclusive definition, and that seeks to guard the dignity of every human being.
        
I also know that I choose to not be anxious during this neutral – during this in between time – even though I know I will fail in that choosing now and then. And I pray that freedom from anxiety for each of you as well. And finally, I know that in Jesus of Nazareth God chose the name “God is with us,” and I believe that to be true whatever the staff make up is come January. God's richest blessings be ours. God's greatest hope be ours. God's deepest peace be ours. Amen.

©2009 Jim Melnyk